From the journal of Edward James Clayton, English soldier of fortune:
Transylvanian Alps, 24 April, 1879
My travels have brought me to these desolate mountains, reputed to be the home of Baroness Alexia Ionescu, a notorious vampire. The baroness has been making a nuisance of herself, and I have, perhaps foolishly, volunteered to stop her by whatever means possible. I have assumed the role of a minister without portfolio in Her Majesty Queen Victoria's government, seeking to meet with the baroness about a possible property purchase in London.
Transylvanian Alps, 28 April, 1879
In short order, I arranged to meet with the baroness at her mountain estate that evening; I found her to be a most attractive woman, a redhead possessing a very voluptuous body. Her English was quite good, as she entertained me with stories about various aristocrats she knew. The baroness was also a fancier of American playing card games, especially one called "Texas Hold 'Em." (A brief digression: Having traveled through the American West, I was quite familiar with the game. However, I chose to play the innocent with the baroness.)
As the baroness and I played hands, I noticed a large clock against a nearby wall. A thought occurred to me; if I could keep the baroness busy, keep her attention from the clock, perhaps there could be a chance to do away with her.
The baroness, having tired of playing poker, made a somewhat lewd suggestion about the two of us retiring to her bedchamber. I stole a glance at the clock; a plan suggested itself.
Once in bed, we indulged in some light foreplay. I finally made my move; I feigned exhaustion. I sensed the baroness moving closer to me. Then I struck. My hand shot out and grabbed the baroness by the neck. Snarling, displaying her fangs, she tried to attack me. I managed to get the two of us out of bed and over by a large eastern-facing window. Yanking the window curtain open, I shouted, "Greet the new day, bitch!"
The baroness turned to attack me, but too late. The morning sunlight caused her naked, shapely body to burst into flames. Within a few minutes, the baroness was but a pile of ashes on the bedchamber floor.
London, England, 2 May, 1879
I'm back home, resting up from my adventure with the late Baroness Alexia Ionescu. Ah, well. One less evil entity in the world. 
