"Good morning, sugar. Oh, who am I? Why, I'm your fairy godmother, dearest. I heard you crying last night. I was worried, and so I came to see what was upsetting you. By the way, I apologize for not being appropriately dressed, but I've been having a wonderful time at this little resort in Barbados. A resort with a very relaxing atmosphere, wonderful people, and killer mojitos. But back to you. Why were you crying? Are you having a hard time finding that special someone? Well, dry your eyes, honeybunch. What you want, I can provide!"