Humbled by 200: Thank you

First of all, thank you everyone for making me feel welcomed in this community. My personal projection told me that it would probably take me end of October to reach 200 so this is very unexpected. It’s touching. I like abstracting myself from reality and observe myself to reflect on the things I learnt over the past 200 followers. It is a humble milestone among the elites here, but I’ve enjoyed the journey. On Expression I came to BW with an intention of realizing the imaginations I have in my mind for the past few decades. I’ve accepted that everyone is unique in their own way and my deep affinity to bondage is not for everyone. However, sometimes I experienced the tension in myself when I ask if I did my work for myself or for everyone else. Dopamine is cheap and ‘likes’ can be addictive especially for someone like me who seeks validation from my self inflicted shame growing up. Although, recently I learned to OWN my expression. I learnt to sit with my emotions and expression when I create my work and when it’s out there, it no longer belongs to me—it belongs to all of you. On Community I’ve always kept my affinity to bondage to myself and never really shared with anyone at all. Because I felt it was wrong and there’s something wrong with me. I also incorrectly misjudged how people who have this affinity are. I apologize for that naivety. You all have shown me what is possible with connections and honesty between when I had 100 all the way to 200. It inspired me to exercise the same in my physical world connections and I’ve grown closer with my love ones. So I thank you. On Depth I hated language subjects at school and it was consistently my worst performing subject. I had zero interest in literature and it took me decades before I started reading fiction again. But the history on the invention of language and writing intrigued me and I have since learnt to appreciate that. People who knew me would think it is odd for me to say I do (erotic) haiku and story writing in my free time. I have since learnt a lot from @gildenstein @cef_ultra @terror2 and I am genuinely enjoying writing, creating deeper dimensions in my stories, and sometimes even reacting to them in ways I didn’t know possible. I scoffed at the 5000 characters limit thinking I’d never reach that but now it is such a constraint to the depth I’d like to achieve. The visuals I created now are more complementary than the main attraction. On Compulsion I came to realize that the mix of signals and synaptic behavior in my brain is a continuous spectrum that is impossible to be replicated in reality. My personal compulsion on trying to represent them in this platform usually ended up me burning through my credits and it somewhat relates to the dopamine being cheap statement I made earlier too. I have learnt to accept things as is and so with art, the journey is my growth and less of the perfection of my work. I have reflected and observed my prior works and I do notice the growth that I wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t look back. It helps me to understand that there’s no such thing as perfection and to accept the moment of inspiration as is. So what’s next? I have no idea. And I’m not going to pretend I got everything sorted. I’ll probably keep writing and keep posting. But more importantly I will continue to be more intentional with what I do and find opportunities to learn more about myself I’m also going to take this opportunity to (re) introduce my OCs. In some way, they represent some dimension of who I am Victoria King — Vicky Highly curious and loves to explore the physical and subjective world. Her high intelligence and ability to create is attributed to that. Reflective and intentional to all her actions and decisions Harriet Valstrane — Hattie Royal blood and first to heir. She has no problem exercising power when her values are being challenged. At the same time she incredibly empathetic towards any stranger she meets. Aleksandra Romanova — Lexi Down to earth problem solver. She is not afraid to get her hands dirty if she needs to in order to get things done. She loves to try things even if she doesn’t know it will work and that’s how she learn fast. Thanks again everyone who is on this journey with me! Your support means a lot!