Session 0 - https://betterwaifu.com/post/0pfy2he

Image 1:

The lamp glowed amber against the dark window, city lights scattered below, as Isla lifted a printed page from behind the DM screen. "The innkeeper slides a sealed crate across the bar," she read, in a gruff, warm voice. "Fifty gold on delivery. Take it to the hermit past the forest. And whatever you do, do not open it."

"We— we absolutely won't," said Amelia, twisting her fingers together. "Right, Erin?"

"Obviously," Erin grinned, a little too innocently.

Image 2:

"By dusk you make camp at the forest's edge," Isla went on. "The crate sits by the fire."

Amelia knelt on her bedroll, fussing with a gauntlet that did not need fussing with. Isla sat on the log, watching the flames. Erin crouched right in front of the crate, axe across her knees, head tilted, grinning at it.

"I'm just looking at it," said Erin.

"Erin..." Amelia winced. "Please stop looking at it like that."

Image 3:

Isla held one hand flat above the table and wobbled it from side to side. "The crate wobbles," she said, calm and amused. "Something inside is thumping."

Erin's eyes lit up and her hand shot into the air. "I OPEN IT!"

"Erin, no—" said Amelia, far too late.

Image 4;

"The lid flies off," said Isla, with no hurry at all. Planks and feathers scattered across the camp, and a furious white goose burst out of the crate. "HONK!"

Erin was thrown flat on her back, axe tumbling away, laughing. "HELLO IN THERE!"

Amelia threw up her shield. Isla's stayed exactly where she was on the log, one eyebrow raised.

"...I did say not to," said Isla.

Image 5:

The goose picked its target: Amelia. She tore around the campfire, shield swinging, head turned back over her shoulder. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" she cried to the goose.

Erin sprinted after it, axe raised, snarling with joy. "GET BACK HERE, YOU FEATHERY COWARD!"

Isla watched the pantomime from the log, chin in hand. "...I'll give it a minute," she said.

Image 6:

Erin leapt up from her chair, flapping her arms. "And then I go WHOOSH—"

Amelia buried her face in her hands, scarlet to the ears. "Isla!" she said, muffled. "Why didn't you do anything?!"

Isla laughed behind her hand. "I wanted to see how it ended."

Image 7:

"Fine," said Isla. "She throws a vial. Pale blue mist spreads across the grass. Sleep well."

The goose sank into a fluffy white heap, eyes closed, wings loose. Erin, mid-lunge, lay sprawled face-down in front of it. Amelia stood with her shield still raised.

"Is it... dead?" she whispered.

"Asleep, Amelia," said Isla. "It's a sleeping mist."

"Oh. Of course."

"...I'm fine, by the way guys" Erin mumbled into the grass.

Image 8:

"At dawn you carry the goose to the hermit's door," said Isla. They walked the worn path toward the trees in the soft golden light. Amelia cradled the sleeping goose like a baby, while Erin dragged the empty crate behind her on a rope, pouting.

"Why am I carrying the crate?" said Erin.

"You opened it," said Isla.

"Shh," Amelia whispered, looking down at the goose. "She's sleeping."

Image 9:

Isla leaned back behind the screen, squinted, and wagged a finger like a grumpy old hermit. "A sleeping goose? Look at these feathers. You've ruined its quality."

"We're so sorry, we—" said Amelia, clasping her hands.

"It tried to kill us," Erin muttered, arms folded.

"It's a goose," said Isla, still as the hermit. "That's what they do."

Image 10:

Isla set five gold coins on the table. "Twenty-five gold," she said, as the hermit.

"TWENTY-FIVE?!" Erin leapt across the table, pointing. "It was FIFTY!"

Isla shrugged, palms up, and dropped the voice. "He said the goose is damaged." She paused. "His words, not mine."

"Erin, please—" said Amelia, one hand raised between them.

So ended the first quest: one goose delivered, half the reward collected, and a barbarian who would not be letting the other half go any time soon. Amelia was still murmuring apologies to a goose that was no longer there, and Isla was quietly writing something in her notes. "Okay," she said, glancing up with the faintest smile. "Next session, I have a few ideas for you."